News You Can Bruise
Your chicken, your egg, your problem

[Comments] (1) Public Service Film Roundup:

  • Interstellar (2014): I'm doing a special edition of Film Roundup before the end of the month to stop innocent people from seeing Interstellar under the impression that it's a film like Gravity where the cheesy plot is redeemed by great space visuals. That's what I thought going in, but it turns out that the plot isn't just cheesy, it's really awful, and the space visuals don't in fact redeem it.

    Those who have been reading Crummy since 1998 (so, basically, Kris) will be shocked at me saying this, but... this movie is worse than Armageddon. Armageddon is a dumb movie that thinks it's fun. Interstellar is a dumb movie that thinks it's smart. In Armageddon the horrible science was plastered over with an attitude of "You eggheads don't know anything about the real world of asteroid mining, let some working stiffs show you how it's done!" I found this offensive, but I admit it works cinematically. Interstellar has a worshipful attitude towards scientists who constantly make rookie mistakes and have no way of solving problems beyond squinting at blackboards real hard. It's ridiculous.

    I saw this movie with Sarah and afterwards we considered the possibility that we were seeing an Idiocracy-style scenario, in which society has so denigrated science that anyone with an undergraduate-level understanding of physics is considered a genius. (There's an astronaut who's always referred to as "Dr. Mann", even his nameplate says "Dr. Mann" instead of giving his first name, because it's unheard of for an astronaut to also have a Ph.D.) And that reading would work, except for one minor detail: these bumbling fools are somehow able to develop advanced space flight and cryosleep without any support from the outside society.

    I bring up the Armageddon comparison because there are just so many problems with this movie, not problems with sci-fi cliches like someone going through a black hole's event horizon without getting smushed, but huge plot-wreckers that the movie tries to address and fails.

    The space visuals definitely deliver, but they're used sparingly, and to my surprise I lost a lot of interest when the action moved to space. I thought the first act's portrayal of a dying Earth was really good. I also think that's because its emotional tone is copied from Children of Men. Which brings me to Interstellar's second meta-problem: it's an anthology of movies that are better than it, most notably Children of Men, 2001, and Tarkovsky's Solaris. (Sarah also mentioned Sunshine, which I haven't seen.) I admit that 2001 and Solaris are long, slow movies, and there's something to be said for adapting those ideas and visuals to a blockbuster, but Interstellar is about the same length as either of those movies (it has a longer running time but a 21st-century credit roll) and not exactly action-packed.

    The one bright spot in this movie: the robots. Their design initially appears clunky, but they prove very versatile, and it's never made clear whether they're intelligent (which would be kind of disturbing given how they're treated) or just highly anthropomorphized.

[No comments] ...And Maps: I've got some exciting new stuff for people who read NYCB but not my Twitter feed (which, if you consider the future, is the vast majority of everyone who reads NYCB). As I mentioned in the film roundup, I went to the Books in Browsers conference with my NYPL colleague James English. James gave an overview of the Library Simplified project we work on, and then I gave a talk I like to call (and did call) "Project Gutenberg Books are Real Books!".

Part of my work on Library Simplified is to integrate Project Gutenberg books into our ebook catalog. This sounds easy, and it is, so long as you're willing to treat Gutenberg books as second-class citizens that live in their own poorly-documented area. I'm trying to do something more like what Amazon did with its free Kindle books (BTW I recently discovered that they're selling the newer ones)—turn the Gutenberg texts into no-frills derivative editions that are nonetheless fully integrated into the storefront.

Second, there's a new Reef map, Reef #4: The Timeline, a cross-section of Minecraft history going from late 2010 to mid-2014. I think it's the most accessible of the Reef maps—it's small and it's obvious what's going on.

As is tradition, I introduced Reef #4 with a video, in which I compelled Lapis Lauri and Ron Smalec to race to the end of the Timeline for my own amusement (and theirs).

As you can tell I'm working on all kinds of stuff, notably something you will probably never see—the pitch document for Situation Normal. I really hate writing this stuff and it's a huge pain, but why write a book if you're not going to try to sell it?

[No comments] October Film Roundup: Pretty slim pickings this month. (Damn, shoulda used that line back in April after I saw 1941. Oh well, no one will even know—wait, am I typing this? Computer, end program.)

  • Paul (2012): Seen on the flight to San Francisco for Books in Browsers. Let this film serve as a test case for what Edgar Wright brings to the Edgar Wright/Simon Pegg/Nick Frost trio. Paul has tons of intertextuality and nerd references and stunt casting. It's got fun slapstick, good one-liners, and even that elusive element known as "heart". But "heart", while necessary, is not sufficient. There's some other element, let's call it "heart-prime", which is required to take a big nerdy self-referential heartfelt mess and make it into a tight narrative with non-cheap emotional payoffs. That element is missing here, and the most obvious variable that got changed is the director, so that's the conclusion I'm gonna draw.

    It was nice to see Jesse Plemons as a vengeful hick, in a bit of prescient stunt casting.

  • How To Train Your Dragon (2010): I didn't see this movie, the person next to me was watching it while I was watching Paul, but I wanted to mention that I thought the newt-cat black dragon was cute.
  • Moonrise Kingdom (2012): I saw this on the return flight! Nothing works like a Wes Anderson movie for letting me forget I'm on a plane for two hours. It looks great, the story is meh, I won't complain. I will admit that I fast-forwarded some of the slow dialogue-free scenes to make sure I'd get through the film before my plane landed. I wonder if Wes Anderson has ever looked into doing site-specific installation pieces.
  • Gonna throw in the matinee of Chuck Jones cartoons I saw at the museum on November 2. I won't review every single cartoon, but I do want to single out "Deduce, You Say" (a Daffy Duck/Porky Pig Sherlock Holmes spoof) as an especially clever and funny entry. I loved the way it lets Porky, a character I always found dull, play a dry-witted straight man. In general I think Looney Tunes cartoons are more interesting when the main characters face an external threat rather than spending the whole cartoon trying to kill each other. (With "Rabbit Fire" you get both, of course.)

It may appear that I wouldn't have seen any movies in October were it not for my trip to San Francisco. What you don't know is that by taking the trip to San Francisco I missed out on a weekend of cool old horror movies at the museum. So it was probably two movies either way.

Reviews of Old Science Fiction Magazines: F&SF October/November 1991: I bet you thought this Crummy mini-feature was dead! That's because it was! When I started making pro sales I decided it wasn't a good idea to be constantly badmouthing my colleagues and the venues I was trying to sell to. So I stopped posting reviews. But a while ago Sumana and I were asked to pick a story to reprint in Strange Horizons, and I really had no idea, because these reviews are the only records I have of which short stories I've read. (We ended up choosing Kim Stanley Robinson's "The Lucky Strike".) And then I took this 1991 magazine on my most recent plane trip and pretty much everything in the magazine was fun. So I thought I'd mention some of the fun and keep a record for posterity.

There will still be some badmouthing, notably of the ad at the beginning of the magazine for a dorky "sexpunk" book. It's a two-page spread that includes some quotes from the stories, two of which are dramatizations of urban legends. Then it shows you the book's I-missed-the-80s cover, and then it brings on the hard sell: "Eleven Short Stories, Two Novelettes, One Novella—256 pages on acid-free paper." I gotta say, I was on the fence until I heard the book was printed on acid-free paper! I'll paste my scrapbook photos into it!

OK, on to the positivity! Carolyn Ives Gilman's "The Honeycrafters" is a Nebula award nominee-to-be that works its one basic idea from all angles and captures the thrill of Minecraft's Forestry mod. A super, super fun read. Bradley Denton has a great Breaking Bad-esque story in "Rerun Roy, Donna, and the Freak", complete with drugs cooked in an RV. Jane Yolen's "Dear Ms. Lonelylegs" is silly and only four pages long.

There's a weird subplot in the book review columns (one by Algis Budrys, one by Orson Scott Card) about how books that come out in paperback first are considered second-class citizens of the book world. Books that come out in hardcover first and then paperback are the upper-crust of 1990s science fiction society, living the high life while "paperback originals" are left to toil in the sweat mines. It's a fascinating glimpse of a distant culture.

Harlan Ellison, O.G. hipster, waxes about the thrill of introducing someone to something great and then the anti-thrill of not being able to be a snob after everyone knows about the great thing. In this film review column he kind-of-but-not-really passes the torch to Kathi Maio. By which I mean Ellison's column will still be printed whenever he sends one in, but Maio is able to review three films in six pages, where Ellison writes twelve pages in this issue and encounters only one film, The Rocketeer (he luvs it). So we're not really looking at two film review columns, we're looking at one film review column plus Harlan Ellison's blog. A wise editorial decision on the part of F&SF.

In Isaac Asimov's science column, Isaac Asimov bemoans the downsides that come along with being as smart as Isaac Asimov. Fortunately, the mighty brain of Isaac Asimov is able to cope with such petty inconveniences. I like how Asimov's column (the topic is energy) gives respect to underappreciated scientists, not just once but repeatedly.

Back to stories. Mike Resnik's "Winter Solstice" is a sad story of Merlin that really highlights how the concept of someone living backwards in time is incoherent—one of Dan Simmons's Hyperion books covered some of the same ground and I had the same problem there. Lois Tilton's "A Just and Lasting Peace" is nice and creepy alt-history that does more character development than a lot of alt-history. (With a title like that, you know it's creepy alt-history!) Marc Laidlaw's "Gasoline Lake" had too many plot twists to keep my interest but I loved the setting and the setup.

There's a cartoon of a starfield where one star says "We're the star that inspired the verse 'Twinkle Twinkle Little Star'" and another star says "Yeah? Well we're the star that inspired the song: "When You Wish Upon A Star". I may be overthinking this, but... why does each star speak of itself in the plural? Is there an unspoken SFnal twist in which stars are collective intelligences? How did the stars discover these facts? Did Jane Taylor and Leigh Harline use long-range transmission to inform the stars that inspired them? Or is this the opposite of the "lunar real estate" scam, where stars pay for certificates that lay claim to certain human songs? If you were a star, and you communicated with another star over a distance of hundreds of light-years, is this really what you would talk about? Would it be fair to say that these stars are so vain they think this song is about them?

Unaccountably, the cartoon does not answer these questions. I will say that this issue contains a "Dr. Quark, Low-Tech Physicist" cartoon that I liked.

You know, looking over this it's clear that mostly what I want to do is make note of the stories I liked and then snark on the columns, so maybe I'll rev this feature back up. Anyway, this issue was really fun. Pick up a copy 23 years ago!

[Comments] (4) The Bot of Mormon: I don't usually do in-depth analyses of my bots, especially one that's probably not gonna break ten followers, but my most recent bot is very personal to me, and the making of it turned out to be much stranger than I expected. It's The Bot of Mormon, "the most correct bot", a text-generating process with a very niche audience but the niche audience includes me, so I'm happy. A few of my recent favorites:

A note: In a bid for more followers, as well as not alienating all my relatives, I designed the Bot of Mormon to be a bit of harmless humor for believing LDS folk (early versions could be pretty offensive, and I chose not to go that route). However, Saints might take offense at this blog post about how and why I made the bot. So, fair warning. Here we go.


It's not much of an exaggeration to trace my interest in generative text back to my experience growing up in Mormonism. Mark Twain famously called the Book of Mormon "chloroform in print", and I believe the reason it's so boring is that it was produced by a process similar to automatic writing. It's full of stalling and retreats to stock phrases. But what starts with the Book of Mormon sure doesn't end there. When I was a kid, church every week was a three-hour festival of stock phrases and repetition.

See, in the LDS church the task of coming up with things to say every week rotates around the general membership. Topics are assigned, and there are only about fifty topics total. Since every acceptable topic has been covered a million times before, the simplest way to make a new talk is to remember bits of old talks and mash them together.

When I was a kid I experienced this from both ends, and writing the talks was especially intense for me because despite my best efforts, I didn't actually believe. My talks were literally constructed by assembling meaningless symbols into patterns that matched what I saw other people doing. Naturally, ever since I caught the botmaking bug I've wanted to recreate this experience with a bot. I registered @TheBotOfMormon quite a while ago. But I couldn't figure out what to do until recently, when I hit upon the idea of taking as my corpus not the Book of Mormon itself, but the General Conference talks.

General Conference is a big twice-yearly event in Salt Lake where the top brass show y'all how it's done. These guys used to be lawyers and corporate executives, and their talks are all vetted by committee, so the result is... well, sometimes someone will say something offensive, but even that I wouldn't call "interesting". What is interesting is that Conference is where Mormonism meets the twenty-first century. By which I mean that's where you can see the pros use nineteenth-century language and rhetoric to talk about same-sex marriage (undesirable!) and the Internet (a mixed bag!) That's the kind of juxtaposition I thought would make a good bot. As it turns out, I was right... sort of. Eventually.

To give you a picture of what goes on in General Conference, here's a table I made of the top ten topics by decade, according to the keywords in the <meta> tags for each talk.

1970s1980s1990s2000s2010s
  1. obedience
  2. missionary work
  3. spirituality
  4. testimony
  5. Jesus Christ
  6. welfare
  7. priesthood
  8. family
  9. plan of salvation
  10. youth
  1. Jesus Christ
  2. missionary work
  3. service
  4. obedience
  5. priesthood
  6. faith
  7. love
  8. family
  9. spirituality
  10. adversity
  1. Jesus Christ
  2. faith
  3. family
  4. priesthood
  5. love
  6. service
  7. Holy Ghost
  8. obedience
  9. prayer
  10. Atonement
  1. faith
  2. Jesus Christ
  3. service
  4. testimony
  5. obedience
  6. family
  7. Holy Ghost
  8. prayer
  9. love
  10. priesthood
  1. Jesus Christ
  2. service
  3. faith
  4. priesthood
  5. obedience
  6. adversity
  7. family
  8. love
  9. Holy Ghost
  10. Atonement

You can see the shape of the fifty acceptable topics there. Anyway, I downloaded the Conference talks and set about applying my usual bag of tricks to the corpus to come up with an interesting transformation. Imagine my surprise when none of my techniques worked!

The _ebooks algorithm, up to this point an unending generator of hilarity from any corpus, failed miserably. The word-frequency filter I used to find the interesting signs for Minecraft Signs, also failed. Markov chains were useless, big surprise. I had a dim idea that the key to bot gold here was the subordinate clauses: the sentences that run on and on in a lawyerly way, embroidering themselves with their own Talmudic interpretations. I tried Queneau assembly of sentences at the clause level. This was good enough to get the bot launched, but it wasn't great. Each individual clause is very likely to be boring, its boringness has no relationship to word frequency, and combining clauses doesn't help. The corpus is fractally boring.

Okay, I thought, time to break out the big guns. I incorporated the Book of Mormon into my corpus, the Doctrine & Covenants; even the Pearl of Great Price, the bizarro crown jewel of the LDS canon. None of it helped. (The Pearl of Great Price helped a little—it's really weird—but it's also very short.)

But legend told of a secret weapon: the Journal of Discourses. Basically a large collection of General Conference talks from the late 19th century, during the polygamy era, containing a ton of fiery rhetoric and juicy doctrines downplayed or outright disowned by the modern church. Some might consider it dirty pool, but I was desperate to get some interesting content out of my bot. I Queneau-ified every Discourse in the Journal and added it to the corpus... to no avail. It was still dull! On the sentence fragment level, it's tough to even distinguish between the 'scandalous' stuff in the Journal and the dishwater they serve up at Conference nowadays.

At this point I was so frustrated that I honestly started to question my unbelief. What are the odds that a corpus of text spanning hundreds of authors over nearly 200 years could be so uniformly dull? Was some divine hand at work, keeping things from getting too interesting? With shaking hands I ran my tests against a control sample: the Gutenberg text of a non-Mormon book of sermons. And it turns out nineteenth-century religious language is what's fractally boring. It's nothing to do with Mormonism in particular. The modern stuff is dull because it copies and recombines the nineteenth-century stuff.

And that, finally, was the key to what little success I've achieved with @TheBotOfMormon. When the bot is funny, the funny thing is not the rambling juxtaposition of sentence fragments per se. It's the juxtaposition of modern concepts with nineteenth-century language. To get the bot to work I would have to actually recreate that juxtaposition, not just hope for it.

Enter the Corpus of Historical American English. (Thanks, BYU! Seriously, what a great project.) This has word frequencies for every decade from the 1810s up to 2009. I picked out all the words that were 10x more common between 1930 and 1980 as they were between 1830 and 1880. I tagged all the sentence fragments that were distinctly twentieth-century. Now I can guarantee that every assemblage has an old-timey component and a more modern component, and the chances of humor go way up.

The lesson I want to take from this is that every corpus is different. I thought I could handle the LDS corpus with the same tools I use on Gutenberg, because they're both full of archaic language, but I was totally wrong. Once I engaged with the text this became obvious, but I came into this holding the text at arms' length because it held a lot of bad childhood memories.

There's no generic bot kit that will work on anything. (Well, there is, but it uses Markov chains and I don't like it.) Even my really simple bots like I Like Big Bot and Boat Names required a lot of custom behind-the-scenes work to find the most interesting subset of the data.

Perhaps this can serve as my new rule. A new bot needs to present a different way of being a bot, not just a different corpus. And adding more text to a corpus I don't know how to handle just makes the problem worse.

2014 November
MonTueWedThuFriSatSun
     122
324526789
10111213141516
172181920212223
24252627282930

4 entries this month.

Categories Random XML
Password:
Cogito, Ergo Sumana
Sumana oscillates between logic and love

: Why I'm Excited About !!Con: Some get-togethers turn into dominance displays -- participants see each other as someone to defeat. We often see this pattern in technical spaces, such as conferences, mailing lists, programming classes, and code review. Skud's 2009 piece "The community spectrum: caring to combative" mentions a few groups who created caring technical subcommunities in response to a competitive or combative culture. Since 2009 we've seen more such efforts -- more and more tidepools where I feel welcome, where I gather strength between trips into the ocean.

Hacker School recognizes that dominance displays discourage learning. For years, Hacker Schoolers have worked to "remove the ego and fear of embarrassment that so frequently get in the way of education", to replace constant self-consciousness with a spirit of play. (Apply now for summer or fall!) During my batch, my peers and I balanced plain old webdev/mobile/etc. projects with obscure languages, magnificently silly jokey toys, and pure beauty. We made fun in our work instead of making fun of each other.

No one "wins" Hacker School. There is no leaderboard. Whenever possible, Hacker School culture assumes abundance rather than scarcity; attempts to rank projects or people would defile our ecology.

And now we have a conference, !!Con, with that same philosophy. It's by Hacker Schoolers but open to anyone* and encouraging talks by everyone.

I love that the !!Con organizers are designing this conference to inclusively celebrate what excites us about programming. If we learn and enjoy ourselves by writing implausible or derivative or useless or gaudy code, and by sharing it with others, the proper response is to celebrate. By focusing on sharing our personal experiences of joy, we let go of dominance-style objective ranking (which is impossible anyway), and instead celebrate a diverse subjectivity. The organizers' choices (including thorough code of conduct, welcoming call for proposals, and anonymous submission review) reinforce this.

I think about this stuff as a geek with many fandoms: programming, scifi, tax history, feminism, open source, comedy, and more. In the best fannish traditions, we see the Other as someone whose fandom we don't know yet but may soon join. We would rather encourage vulnerability, enthusiasm and play than disrespect anyone; we take very seriously the sin of harshing someone else's squee.

This is the fun we make. Not booth babes, not out-nitpicking each other, but wonder.

So, I'm submitting talks to !!Con, and I'm going to be there, May 17-18, soaking in this new warm mossy tidepool of love that's appeared right here in New York City. Join me?


* !!Con will be free to attend, but space will, sadly, be limited, as will the number of talks.

Filed under:


: Loop: I just reread Lee Iacocca's autobiography, in which he mentioned the loop apprenticeship he did when he first got to Ford. Fog Creek's SMTP and the vaunted Procter & Gamble apprenticeships are a bit like this.

Mel wrote:

Reading about cognitive apprenticeships brings up all sorts of fun moments. For instance, the ideal way to design an apprenticeship experience is to have students do global tasks early on, then local tasks later. Do something that lets them see the big picture (assemble a whole dress) first before focusing on detailed parts (cut out a piece for a dress)....

* teach release engineering first, instead of programming

What would a real open source software apprenticeship flow look like? May First/People Link has an idea, around systems administration. Anyway, I know Mel probably has a zillion thoughts on this and I look forward to reading her thesis, but it's just on my mind and I thought I'd note it down so I can get to sleep.

Filed under:


: Skillshare: I've been thinking recently about the line "A week in the lab will save you an hour in the library," in the context of how programmers keep reinventing the wheel over and over instead of reviewing each others' code or learning from CS or software engineering research. Part of why lots of programmers don't reflexively ask themselves, who's already solved this problem? is a lack of discoverability. StackOverflow is much better at sharing useful code snippets than it is at shifting searchers' paradigms. So much relevant research is locked up behind paywalls, and even when it's publicly available, naive web searches for my problem won't necessarily match the jargon academics use. And another reason is that programmers need a certain amount of initial cognitive and behavioral training even to recognize what classes of problems we have and notice when we could use help. We don't teach these thought processes in most accredited programming education.

Greg Wilson says that, on average, a Software Carpentry bootcamp saves a participant one day per week for the rest of their working life. That's how valuable those skills are, and how under-taught they are in the general curriculum.

I want practitioners, in general, to effectively learn from each other. As Leonard wrote:

When you design the fifty-eighth microblogging API you're limiting your audience and wasting your users' time.

This is a really huge problem and we won't solve it with a book. But we can point out that it's a problem and take the first step towards mitigation.

We can't afford to waste time; there are real unsolved problems that need our efforts. Reinventing the wheel is spinning our wheels.

Which means, among other things, that we need to be able to teach developers to review code effectively. It's been done before and I'd love for someone to say they've replicated that process, or a similar one, in an open source community.


(1) : On Having a Decade-Old Blog: I've been posting to "Cogito, Ergo Sumana" since late 2000. Sometimes I think about the really old, embarrassing entries from college, and I wince. Today I happened across a post celebrating a blogger's ten-year anniversary that provided a welcome perspective:

I'm not the same person I was. In many, many ways I am ashamed of that person, and I wish I could just go back and erase many of those early entries, because I was terrible and wrong, and I no longer believe those things. But I let them stand, because I don't think we should edit our histories to include only the parts where we spoke and behaved well. I am a little proud of that person, because she did survive, and became me, and so she couldn't have been all bad. I am kinder than I was, although I am harder, too, and often so tired.


: Open Source Jobs (We're Hiring): The Wikimedia Foundation, which employs me, is hiring, a lot. We need your help to:

    Wikimedia Foundation 2013 All Hands Offsite - Day 1 - Photo 23, by Fabrice Florin, for the Wikimedia Foundation (Wikimedia Foundation) [CC-BY-SA-3.0 (http://creativecommons.org/licenses/by-sa/3.0)], via Wikimedia Commons
  1. write code to try new ways to encourage people to edit Wikipedia (Growth engineer)
  2. keep our users' data safe (operations security engineer)
  3. make sure our designers and multimedia engineers build the right things (multimedia product manager)
  4. help other Wikimedians figure out how to design their outreach and mentoring initiatives better and evaluate them for effectiveness, so we learn what works (program evaluation community coordinator)
  5. automate more of the systems that help developers test new code to find bugs early (Test Infrastructure Engineer)
  6. like 14 other jobs, seriously, we're hiring a lot

And of course everything you make at the Wikimedia Foundation is freely licensed, so you can suggest your buddies use it to solve their problems, write public blog posts about it, talk about it at parties and conferences, and link to it on your résumé. Isn't open source rockin'?

(Many WMF workers, including me, telecommute. You might also like our Pluralism, internationalism, and diversity policy.)

Some other places that make open source software or free culture and are hiring: Linaro, MongoDB, Participatory Culture Foundation, CollectionSpace, Harvard Humanitarian Initiative, Mozilla, Kaltura, Boundless, Acquia, OpenStack-using companies, Varnish Software, Red Hat, InkTank, wikiHow, the libraries and similar institutions seeking Wikimedians/Wikipedians in Residence, Canonical, Collabora, the Linux Foundation, Eucalyptus, New York Public Library Labs, Pro Publica, Nebula, the Electronic Frontier Foundation, the Open Knowledge Foundation.

That's just a fraction of who's hiring. You can check the FSF jobs board, OPW's list and the liberationtech-jobs mailing list for more.

If you're looking specifically for internships, the OpenHatch list, Google Summer of Code, and Outreach Program for Women should help you.


This is a followup to a similar post I made in late 2012. Erik Moeller and Sumana Harihareswara at Hackathon Mumbai 2011 -18, by Victorgrigas (Own work) [CC-BY-SA-3.0 (http://creativecommons.org/licenses/by-sa/3.0)], via Wikimedia Commons

Filed under:


(5) : Tender: I love my spouse. I love the joyous, wondrous expression on programmers' faces when I tell them he wrote Beautiful Soup. I love his published scifi, and his seven-word pulp scifi story ("a scrap of paper on which you'd written in pencil 'MAN HAVE SPACEGUN. explode!! NOW IS SAVE'"). I love the silly dances he does, the astounding puns he makes, and all the rest of his playfulness. I love how supportive he's been of my career -- moving to New York on a month's notice for my job change in 2006 being just one example. And more, of course.

The stats on my blog say I've mentioned Leonard's name 870 times -- 871, once I hit Publish -- and more frequently than "because" or "going" or "every", which feels right. But no number could be sufficient.

It's not our anniversary or his birthday or anything like that. I just wanted to make explicit note that my closeness with my spouse is one of the great facts of my life, a rhythm and melody underlying everything else.


: My Parents, My Cousins: Sometimes I forget that I am a person of color and that the United States has Issues with that. Then I remember, say, the Sacramento Bee saying, "The decision of the United States Supreme Court, that Hindus are not eligible to American citizenship, is most welcome to California." (1923, United States v. Bhagat Singh Thind.) Or I remember September 11, 2001, when my mom and dad frantically searched all of Stockton for a US flag to hang outside our house as protection; since all the stores were sold out, Dad printed something out on our printer and taped it to our doorway.

And I live here.

"Now I prefer cloudy days when the drones don't fly. When the sky brightens and becomes blue, the drones return and so does the fear. Children don't play so often now, and have stopped going to school. Education isn't possible as long as the drones circle overhead."

"[P]retend that you don't see the aircraft".

But I can't.


2014 March
MonTueWedThuFriSatSun
     122
345262789
1021112131415162
171819203212223
24252627282930
31      

0 entries this month.

Categories Random XML
Password:
Cogito, Ergo Sumana
Sumana oscillates between focus and opportunity

(0) : Using Beautiful Soup, Pystache, and Lunr.js for an Archival Site: My third week of my 2014 Hacker School batch, I decided to take on a project that I'd originally thought about doing a year before, during my first go at HS.

Between April 2005 and August 2007, I wrote a weekly column called "MC Masala" for the "Inside Bay Area" section of several papers in the San Francisco Bay Area, including the Oakland Tribune. My work circulated to about a million people, I'm told. A few years ago I grabbed a softcopy of almost all my archives off a periodicals database, and then in 2011 I made an abortive attempt to get the columns online, but gave up on all the fiddly textmunging bits.

But a few weeks ago I felt ready to make a go of it, and I figured this would be a fun and useful way to learn Beautiful Soup and learn to finagle a search engine. So I basically stopped doing the Matasano crypto challenges and started a new project.*

Beautiful Soup, Pystache, and sed

I wrote a script to take a list of HTML files of my old newspaper columns and scrape them using Beautiful Soup. (I only needed a tiny bit of live help from Leonard -- to whit, he got me to use the html5lib parser instead of the default.) My script output a Python dictionary containing the stories as structured data: headline, date, & body. And I wrote a script to render that data through Pystache templates I wrote and write an HTML file for each story, plus a table of contents page. (I don't intend on adding comments or starting the column back again, so I didn't think I'd want a CMS. Pystache, the Python implementation for lightweight Mustache templates, seemed like a reasonable choice.) I got some help on this, notably from a pairing session with Chase Lambert on testing Unicode stuff, and from a pairing session with Geoff Shannon on a Pystache type and inheritance problem.

Unfortunately I never quite figured out how to get one Pystache template nested in another, so there's some code duplication (perhaps partials are the answer). And I had to hack my way around some loopback issues so as to put chronological next/previous links on each article. (Story URLs are just kebab-cased dates. So, my script gets the headline and date (and thus the URL) of the next or previous story by traversing a date-sorted list of dates-and-headlines dicts, then renders the dates and URLs into variables in the template. Oh right, this is where a CMS would have been nice! Lightweight is great until it's not.)

(In the course of all this, I (with help from a sed FAQ) wrote my first real honest-to-goodness "changing a bunch of files in-place with sed" one-liner in years or possibly ever. A ton of links in several files were pointing to the parent directory instead of the current directory. So: sed -i '/head/s/\.\.\///' *.html means "In-place, change ../ to nil, in all the .html files in this directory." Whoo!)

The look, the feel

(There was a cotton ad on TV when I was a kid, with the jingle, "The look / the feel / the fabric of our lives." Sometimes Nandini and I sing it to each other. I suppose if there were an ad for Cascading Style Sheets on TV today it could use the same motto.)

I wrote the stylesheet and arranged the proper elements in the template with a bunch of help from Mozilla Developer Network's guidance on boxes and tables, and that old standby, CSS Zen Garden. I gratefully and curiously perused several nice-looking styles for inspiration and edification. I now more thoroughly understand the difference between margin and padding, and grok better why modern sites have a zillion divs.

For a "home" image, I used a picture of me that Valerie Aurora took, and for a header decoration, I used the GNU Image Manipulation Program to stitch together repetitions of a photo that Kitt Hodsden took and blogged in 2012.

Lunr.js

I thought about adding a server-side search engine with something like Lucene or ElasticSearch, but then I heard about a client-side search engine, Lunr.js. My previous HS batch had included a little JS exploration, and I'd futzed with JavaScript in my Node project the previous week, so Lunr sounded like a good approach. I got it installed okay, and borrowed Ben Smith's minified JS package and Jared Dominguez's index-builder, and got a ton of experience with Chrome developer tools. Over the course of getting Lunr.js working on my site (with help from Nicholas Cassleman and Vito LaVilla) I wrote JS to query the index and return search results. I especially like that the result shows up in the same page, without the need for a redirect or full page refresh.

I've made database schema decisions before, but I haven't previously decided on search indices. It was cool that I had the power to change up the parsed output once I realized that the structured data ought to have hrefs as the unique IDs, rather than otherwise-useless unique doc IDs.

My site!

MC Masala is live! I am so happy that these columns have a nice home now, and that I made it. I got to exercise my Python, which is strong, and I got to strengthen a bunch of other skills along the way. It's not perfect, and I have a TODO list, but it's the nicest-looking site I've ever made, and it fulfills its function well. And I made it in just a few days.


* I basically stalled on the Matasano challenges, and will come back to them someday when I don't feel so time-constrained. I did get some use out of doing the ones I did! I have now grokked byte-level stuff much better, and learned about bytearrays thanks to Allison Kaptur. And I got some laughs out of the process. Example: In challenge six, the Hamming distance the player calculates should be 37. First attempt: came up with 14. Next: 598. I literally laughed aloud. Then, when I finally got 37, I thrust my arms into the air with great vigor because I WAS A DEITY OF PURE LIGHT. But then I started getting depressingly wrong answers and kept getting them; I got help from friends, but decided to hold off and only look at one friend's potentially-spoilery explanation when I'm ready to come back, and I still haven't looked at it. I tried to remind myself of a sort of Allison Kaptur/Carol Dweck "the edge of maybe-can't/"The only thing that makes you smarter is doing hard things" attitude, that I am a Joseph Campbell hero and the greater my struggle the greater my triumph will be. But I was tearing up in frustration, and I decided to give myself a rest from crypto and level up on the main skill I'd come to Hacker School to learn, namely, webdev. And I think that was the right decision. You gotta manage your own morale and momentum -- that's a resource too.

Filed under:


(0) : A Node.js Project, And Deciding to Shelve It: In my second week of my 2014 Hacker School batch, I asked:

What are red flags in scifi/fantasy magazines' calls for submissions? What words/phrases make you think "ew, avoid"? -- @brainwane, 3:48 PM - 13 Oct 2014

As Moss guessed, I was thinking of making an SF&F version of joblint.org, to automatically check for suspect wording in "please submit" pages and posts by speculative fiction publishers.

I take off my hat to Rowan Manning for creating the tool and the site, which I found easy to adapt (my fork of the tool, my fork of the site). The code's in Node.js, and despite an npm problem on Ubuntu, I found it fairly easy to figure out how to change the tests, regular expressions, and error messages, modify the package dependencies and update appropriately (especially thanks to Hacker School colleagues). Check it out: package.json lets you point specifically to a git repo as a dependency, and specify a branch. Even though my JavaScript is terrible, I even figured out how to check for the absence of a thing we want in calls for submissions (specifically, wordcount expectations). Overall, the tech side of this project was easier than I expected. (I also did a few of the Matasano crypto challenges that week, which was a very different approach to looking for signals in text!)

But conversation with some SF&F community members led me to believe that the joblint approach wouldn't help here. In tech industry job descriptions, you can rely on certain buzzwords and key off them; joblint should be only part of a suite that catches problems, the way a code linter should be in a software engineering process, but it prookes thought and is useful on its own. But problems with SF&F calls for submissions are often in subtler approaches rather than easy-to-match strings. So it didn't feel worthwhile for me to try for a regexes-alone approach, and I didn't want to spend my Hacker School time thinking though the automated literature analysis part of this problem; that's not what I wanted to do in this batch.

So I shelved the project and I have not gotten it even close to launch. But the code's up with a TODO list, and y'all should feel free to grab it and run with it if it strikes your fancy!

And I got some hands-on time getting comfortable with Node and I reassured myself that I can cargo-cult JavaScript modifications when necessary, so that was cool. And I got and merged a pull request from an old Wikimedia acquaintance, which made me feel warm and fuzzy. I've left the Foundation, but relationships remain.

Filed under:


(1) : Things I Learned About Drupal And Odd 404s: Back on October 7th, I offered "Some Tips On Domain Names And Hosting", and said: "So, next step: choosing a provider, spinning up a server, loading it up, and pointing my new domain name at it!" And then an interesting unexpected thing came up, which takes up the majority of this post (see the "Weird spam and HTTP tricks" section).

I chose DigitalOcean mainly because a peer had a $10 referral coupon thing, so I could for free enjoy the benefits of using a service that has a business model that makes sense and won't get all ad skeevy (relevant rant, parts one, two, and three).

Security stuff

I faced some two-factor auth problems basically because the most convenient 2FA solutions assume you are fine with installing a closed-source app on a computing device you control.

Also, when spinning up a DigitalOcean droplet for the first time and SSHing into it, I'd like to establish the authenticity of the host by verifying the ECDSA key fingerprint. Where in one's digitalocean.com settings or in the web UI should one look to find that? The answer: one can't. I looked on the web and asked around, and found a lot of people saying, "when you get to 'the authenticity of this host cannot be established, are you sure,' just say yes." There is apparently no way to verify that key fingerprint in the web UI. The attack vector is microscopic (someone else coming in and spoofing the IP address right after you spin it up and before you have a chance to SSH in). But it still annoys me. I hear Amazon EC2 has solved this problem and does give you a way to verify the fingerprint.

Server setup

I followed some useful tutorials to refresh my memory so I could set up an Ubuntu server and get a LAMP stack installed. Another helped me install Drupal. I have now successfully installed Drupal!

Drupal

Generally, if you want to make Drupal do what you want it to do, it's helpful to install modules that other people have made, and maybe themes. You can check out popular modules such as Views, and you can look up how to install modules and themes, and learn how to install modules and themes specifically in Drupal 7.

Thanks to much help from Fureigh (example), when I looked up an "installation profile" ("ngpprofile") that interested me, I found out about Drush and installed it. It seems as though drush wants or seems to need to do everything as root, which doesn't feel right to me, so maybe I misunderstood. Then again, a sysadmin of my acquaintance mentioned his "you gotta be kidding me" reaction to a Drupal installation HOWTO that blithely said "now chmod 777 the web directory", so maybe I just have a different attitude to privileging than Drupal does! Some more thoughts on Drush: a slide deck, GitHub, a homepage, and a project page.

And Fureigh submitted a patch to get ngpprofile to work properly with Drush! ... And then I ungratefully did not try to use ngpprofile, and instead looked at a very very simple theme, and then fiddled manually with templates and the admin dashboard to make my site look just slightly different from a regular stock Drupal site. Drupal theming seems to be a pretty deep skill in and of itself.

I got help from the #drupal-support IRC channel on Freenode as I went -- thanks! If I ever dip into Drupal again, I'll check out a video resource they recommended, including a "build your first Drupal 7 website" video sequence.

Weird spam and HTTP tricks

I bought a brand-new domain name via Hover and pointed it to my DigitalOcean droplet. The next day, I looked at various admin logs and noticed strange 404s that had nothing to do with my site. Clearly they were spam and the attackers hoped I would click on their URLs thinking they were referrers, or similar (if the attacked site's 404 logs are public, intentionally or accidentally, then this tactic would increase the spammer's pagerank). I'll reproduce one here, with the actual URL replaced with "myphishingsite.biz" and eliding the IP.

TYPE page not found
DATE Thursday, October 9, 2014 - 10:46
USER Anonymous (not verified)
LOCATION http://myphishingsite.biz/http://myphishingsite.biz
REFERRER 
MESSAGE ttp://myphishingsite.biz
SEVERITY warning
HOSTNAME [IP address elided]
Hmmm. The spammer left their URL in the LOCATION field somehow, but there's no referer (Drupal spells it "referrer in the admin console). I found that I could cause a "page not found" log entry by going to a nonexistent page on my site, e.g. /bleeber, but then the LOCATION for that log entry was http://[hostname.tld]/bleeber. How was the spammer manufacturing an entry with a LOCATION of http://myphishingsite.biz? And what was up with the truncated initial "h" in the MESSAGE field?

With a few pointers from two Hacker School colleagues, a bit of reading up on how Drupal logs 404s, what access logs look like in Apache, and what 404 actually means, and some trial-and-error, I began to see what was happening. If I went to http://myhostname.tld/http://panix.com , then my access logs included GET /http://panix.com . But the attacker sent requests that logged as GET http://[spamsite] (notice that there is no leading /). So I began to suspect that the attacker programmatically sends GET requests with some kind of intentionally malformed header. (And then this helped me explain why, in the report overview in the web-based admin console, the spammed URLs miss their first character (the h in http) -- usually you don't care about the leading slash or about the base URL when you're skimming that overview, so Drupal programmers made some kind of "omit the first character" choice.)

Time to break out netcat! Usually, the first string after GET in an HTTP request header is the location of the resource you want on the host that you're sending the request to (below, "myhostname.tld" is the host that I'm sending the request to). You'll often see GET / or GET /favicon.ico, for instance. But there's no reason you can't do something like this:

$ nc myhostname.tld 80
GET http://berkeley.edu HTTP/1.1
Host: berkeley.edu
Referrer: 
User-Agent: netcat

When I sent that HTTP request manually, I could replicate precisely what the spammers were doing, in terms of what characters showed up or got clipped in the relevant logs. For instance, the access log entry:

[IP address elided] - - [11/Oct/2014:16:23:47 -0400] "GET http://berkeley.edu HTTP/1.1" 404 7574 "-" "netcat"

And if I were specifically attacking Drupal administrators and wanted them to click on things, and I knew about the initial truncated character in the web-based admin console view, I might send a GET request that includes an initial character to throw away:

$ nc myhostname.tld 80
GET /http://nyc.gov/ HTTP/1.1
Host: nyc.gov
Referrer: 
User-Agent: netcat

Success

So, my first week of my second Hacker School batch, I succeeded in learning a bunch about using the domain name system, hosting, and Drupal, AND I learned how to do hilariously wrong things with HTTP requests. (The site isn't up anymore, because that wasn't the point.) I then went on to build some more sites with different tools, and I'll blog about the rest of them in upcoming posts.

Filed under:


(0) : Shelter and Memory: Mary Schmich wrote in that 1997 "wear sunscreen" advicedump, which has stuck with me and overall proven a good guide for adult Sumana:

Understand that friends come and go, but with a precious few you should hold on. Work hard to bridge the gaps in geography and lifestyle, because the older you get, the more you need the people who knew you when you were young.

This weekend I hung out with a couple of Wikimedia engineers I'd known for a while -- heck, I'd helped one of them move. One of them mentioned, "I was looking at the Wikipedia article for Team America: World Police --"

And I joked something like, "Oh, because it was interfering with the Education Program's Team America namespace?"

And he laughed at my joke, because he remembered that two years ago, we tried to help out professors by introducing a Course namespace (basically wiki pages starting with "Course:"), but that this caused a conflict with the article about the Star Trek: Voyager episode "Course: Oblivion". Such an obscure joke.

That's the time and the place for the coziness of an inside joke -- among friends, the ones who've helped you shape your identity, so the homosocial bonding doesn't exclude newbies and imply to them that if they don't get the joke then they don't belong. I wonder what idiom speakers of other languages use; the phrase "inside joke" carries these connotations of shelter and interiority to me.

There's a saying that you know you're a New Yorker when you point to a storefront and say "I remember when that was [something different]." I've been here going on nine years, longer than I have ever lived in any other city, and I can imagine visual diffs for scores of blocks. It makes me feel rooted, like a tree. I can sense -- and sometimes give in to -- the temptation to assume that the change began when I arrived and began to observe it, as though the only important change is the change I witnessed.

My family moved over and over when I was a child, and I was poor at socializing as a teen, and I've only retained a handful of college friendships. Today I'm doing a big inbox scouring, and this musing reminds me to prioritize replying to the old pals, the ones who knew a Sumana I can barely remember.


(1) : Sometimes Paths Are Useful: I just finished a six-week batch at Hacker School. As an alumna, I had the option of asking to come back for three months or for a six-week minibatch, and I decided on the latter. I'll be writing more about my lessons, but today I can mostly point to my programming partner's writeup and add a silly story.

I met Greg Hendershott at !!Con months back, and then we ended up in the same batch and found that we laugh at each other's jokes. So we tried to figure out what to work on together. He's way into functional programming, Racket, Clojure, stuff like that, and has for instance written an emacs mode for Racket. In contrast, I'm only fluent in Python and have been concentrating on web dev. We found common ground in Python and an interest in security, and made a webservice that runs a static analyzer on a user-submitted code sample and returns to the user a "report card" of vulnerabilities in their code. That's what I spent the last two weeks on.

In his post, Greg describes how we rejected smaller and smaller web frameworks, finally settling on subclassing from BaseHTTPServer (built into Python's standard library). When you do that, you have to literally define methods so that the server can handle even the most basic HTTP verbs, like GET and POST. We defined POST but didn't define GET, because we didn't need to! It felt so tremendously subversive, creating a web service that gave you a 501 (Method Not Supported) if you tried to GET / , and yet actually did other things. Deliciously wrong.

(Also amazing: reading and subclassing from code whose initial code comments specifically and relevantly cite the work of Tim Berners-Lee and Roy Fielding. I felt such awe and gratitude, that I am part of a grand heritage of innovation and infrastructure. What an inheritance!)

So then a few days later we decided to make a simple web page or two, so that someone using a web browser could use the service. I loved the experience of API-first design, and felt amused when I implemented our server's second method, do_GET. (One nice thing about long-term collaboration is that you can pair some of the time and also do some bits on your own, bringing them to your partner for code review.) do_GET, like do_POST, didn't care about the path, because there's only one thing a user is ever going to do with our service. No URL routing required. A GET request always caused the server to return index.html.

Then I stubbed out a small index.html page, borrowing bits and pieces from other past projects where I'd solved similar problems. And I thought "well I'll style this a bit" and copied a style.css file from one of my old sites into the project directory, linked to it in the head element of index.html, futzed with some element names and IDs, and reloaded. Hmm, why no styling? Shift-reload. Still looked bare. I opened up the developer toolbar...

...and saw that "style.css" had the text of index.html. Because I had defined GET to always return index.html! And when you want a browser to be able to use a stylesheet, well, it'll have to GET it!

I laughed pretty hard, then inlined the CSS. (And we did end up writing a bit of URL routing so we could serve a favicon to browsers and to serve a capabilities document to service clients.)

I get so much joy out of playing with the building blocks of the Web. It's a great feeling. Thanks for working on this with me, Greg!

Filed under:


: Snapshot: Sometime in early 2010, I jotted down a few notes that I meant to blog at the time; I've now expanded them into the following entry. I was in between jobs; I think it was just after my time at Collabora, and the year before I started working for Wikimedia Foundation. I'd been in New York City for a little over four years. It's interesting to look back -- I never did turn any of those ideas into a proper conference talk, and I still remember the atmosphere of that evening, feeling out of place of course among the men in business suits in some dim bar, but still connected to them because of what we'd studied together.

Today I thought up some proposal ideas for conferences... [terrible ideas elided]

Today I also reread bits of Rick Yancey's tax collector memoirs, and I went to dinner/drinks with old colleagues, people I'd done the master's in tech management with a few years previous. Basically all guys (and jeez sexism much?). Evidently SWOT & similar tools really work when you break 'em out appropriately (in the midst of chaos, maybe?). And from what these guys tell me, HR is a mess in most big companies; if I can not just catalyse, but teach other people to replicate my success, that's marketable. The interface between a firm & its clients is crucial, but so is the interface between the firm & its employees.

It sounds like one way to keep those corporate accounting and finance skills honed would be to try looking at the financials of a company without knowing its name, and work out what it is.

What do I want in my next job? I should be open to larger orgs, larger than any I've worked with in the past, but I don't want some things I've heard are common in big organizations:

  • stifling bureaucracy
  • stifling political atmosphere that stops necessary things from being said or asked
  • lengthy processes lasting more than 3 months to get rid of an underperformer
Most touchingly, my old classmate [name] said he's forever remembered my interaction with that executive who came to guest-lecture us, about whether he considers himself a success, and would he do it again. Hearing that answer changed his mind. Before coming into the Master's in Tech Management program, he'd thought, "I want to be a CIO of a big corporation." Afterwards: "I want time for family."


: .illusion(): Last night one of my Hacker School peers was practicing sleight-of-hand with a card deck, and another peer walked over and said, "Oh, I used to run a magic tricks website."

I waited with bated breath for the punchline. None came! So I had to make some up.

I used to run a magic tricks website, but it disappeared.

I used to run a magic tricks website; I wrote it in Haspell.

I used to run a magic tricks website; it ran RabbitMQ.

I used to run a magic tricks website; I used SQLAlchemy. (predicated on the false memory that SQLAlchemy's logo is a tophat and cane)

I used to run a magic tricks address book application; pick a .vcard format, any .vcard format!

I used to run a magic tricks website; this is my lovely helper function.

But I felt stymied. When I think of magic tricks, I think of visuals and descriptions, not easy-to-pun jargon. And I couldn't think of any puns on the names of GOB Bluth, Penn and Teller, David Copperfield, or Criss Angel/Mindfreak.

And then Cerek Hillen came up with: "I used to run a magic tricks website; I wrote it in Brainfreak." And I thought: yes. It is done.

Filed under:


2014 November
MonTueWedThuFriSatSun
     12
343567289
1011121314215162
171841920212223
24252627282930

8 entries this month.

Categories Random XML
Password:
Leonard and Sumana's personal notebook
Peer into Leonard and Sumana's mind

20 Minute Croissant Dough | Edd Kimber | The Boy Who Bakes: Genious?

http://www.geoguessr.com?v=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%3D: Champions!

http://www.geoguessr.com?v=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: If it's in Botswana, we're gonna find it.

2013 June
MonTueWedThuFriSatSun
     12
3456789
10111213141516
17181920212223
242526272829302

0 entries this month.

Categories Random XML
Password:
Traffic
John Chadwick's weblog

the 'Go-to': Everyone has a go-to phrase, something they say when they don't know what to say. For Mary Poppins, it was supercalifragilisticexpialidocious, for example.

For Dalton, it's 'you're funny!'

He seriously says it to adults when they say something to him and he's not quite sure how to respond. It normally gets a laugh in response, so perhaps HE is the funny one....

[Comments] (2) a funny thing happened on the way to the playground: Kids these days:

Maggie: I got invited to Ronan's birthday! Susie/John: Who's Ronan? Maggie: A boy from school. Susie/John: Are you friends with Ronan? Maggie: No, but he invited me, I think, because I'm a good example at school and he wants to say thank you. (Editor's note: Doubtful this is true, but glad my daughter has a pure heart).

John: I'm going for a walk. Maggie, want to ride your scooter? Maggie: No, I'll just walk with you dad. John: But it's going to be a long walk. Are you sure? Maggie: Yes. If I ride my scooter, I can't talk to you about things.

Dalton: Dad, I'm tired of being the cutest. I do NOT want to be the cutest anymore. (Editor's Note: Sienna is now the cutest and Dalton is the happiest).

Legoland is a pain because Sienna can't go on anything. Unlike Disneyland, the king of all amusement parks. The kids fight in line about who gets to take their turn with me. I may not have been cool at school, but I'm officially the favorite dad in this house!

ring out wild bells: Last week I was fortunate enough to have a 5-day Thanksgiving holiday, which inevitably meant I worked 2 hours a day rather than 14. Nothing beats trying to review a Chinese tax provision with a belly full of tryptophan.

Then Sunday night I took a red eye to Florida. The hotel, weather, and ambiance were very nice, and I actually slept well on the flight. The bummer was going from 50 degree weather to 80 degree weather and back again apparently reduced my defenses and now I'm sick. And I got to work those fun 14 hours days in Florida to boot. But it sure looked nice outside.

The 3-hour time change is, of course, no friend of mine either. I'm beginning now to see the immense benefit India has by being all in one time zone, even if it means they are 30 minutes off the rest of the world.

With three kids, a spouse, a demanding job, and a plethora of hobbies, I find myself constantly chasing time. I pine for the days when I wanted time to move forward. I suppose I'll see those days again in my twilight years. Until then, I merely hold on.

the way we were: Recent life highlights include:

1. Maggie fasting for Grandpa (she is suddenly interested in fasting).

2. Watching the original Star Wars series with the kids.

3. Getting extremely irritated with my career.

4. Learning more about birds than I really care to, because Maggie is into birds.

5. Trying to identify all the seed pods on different trees in our neighborhood, again because Maggie is interested.

6. Having Dalton shanghai all my evening constitutionals with Sienna into play dates at the park in the dark (daddy I want to go on your walk quickly turns into playing at the park, because every direction we could possibly walk in, there is a park!)

7. The Primary Program. I'm glad it's over.

8. Halloween. Our neighborhood does it right! I've never seen such a concentration of homes totally into Halloween! And the best part is, being on the corner, no one comes to our house so we can all go out as a family (dressed as Wreck It Ralph. Plus an owl).

9. Enjoying a wide range of weather. Some days are sunny and 80 (in November) and some days are foggy and 65. Love them both!

10. Watching my kids grow. In particular, Sienna. She loves the stairs.

: It doesn't matter how many times we sing "Child's Prayer" in Primary, I still get teary eyed. Which is not good, since I'm the one playing the piano.

2014 March
MonTueWedThuFriSatSun
     122
3456789
10111213141516
17181920212223
24252627282930
31      

0 entries this month.

Random XML
Password:
La Vie En Rose
Rachel Richardson's weblog

I really need to check my job at the door: ...of the bookstore. The other day in Foyles I had to physically restrain myself from re-organizing some Beast Quests that were in the wrong order. Tonight in Waterstones I found myself recommending The Sky is Everywhere to someone looking for a gift for a 15 year old. What can I say? 3 years in a bookstore and old habits die hard.

Overheard in Stoke Newington:
1:"The only good thing about David Cameron"
2&3 in unison: "There's nothing good about David Cameron."
1"...is his taste in music."

Whigs and Tories: I went to a "mustache and wig" party as a Lib Dem supporter, but no one got it.

2010 June
MonTueWedThuFriSatSun
 123456
78910111213
14151617181920
21222324252627
2822930    

0 entries this month.

Links
the road just rose up behind me
Categories Random XML
Password:
My Seussical Life
My Seussical Life

Backward Thinking: When planning a Redbox return, I felt a fleeting anxiety that I had not hit "rewind" on my movie. That was a strange throw-back.

[Comments] (3) On that note. . .: I'm back to the blog and intend to update more steadily than in the last five years. Among other reasons, I stopped blogging because I was overwhelmed by how popular blogging had suddenly become. Does anyone else get overwhelmed by the thought of an internet audience beyond a handful of family members and close friends? I like to be a bit more off the radar, I guess. But I'm back.

Dear Mr. Fellowes:: Is this Masterpiece Theatre or soap opera disguised in period dress? Downton Abbey, how you frustrate me!

First Sweat of Spring: I did some impromptu weeding of the garden today. Actually, first I locked myself out of the house and then dug around in the dirt while I waited for the locksmith to arrive.

[Comments] (1) Ratings: "Do I make the best guacamole in the world, Mom?" Atticus asks.

"You definitely make fabulous guacamole." I assure.

"Well. . . I am for sure in the top three."

2012 March
MonTueWedThuFriSatSun
   12234
56728921011
121321415161718
19202122232425
262728293031 

0 entries this month.

Links
alysonmatkin@gmail.com
Random XML
Password:
Jabberwocky
Frances Whitney's weblog

Obituary: Here is the link to Mom's obituary, printed in the Bakersfield Californian on Tuesday. The death date is wrong, it was actually May 5, 2006

2006 May
MonTueWedThuFriSatSun
1223425367
8910111213214
15161718192021
22232425262728
293031    

0 entries this month.

Random XML
Password:
No Day But Today
Jill Whitney's weblog

Funny things: I heard today...

"There are nice ones and naughty ones like 'Hey lets make Icecream sundaes tonight' is nice, while 'Hey babe, I'll bring the nuts and chocolate syrup if you bring the cherry' is naughty."

"Can you believe I'm seventy and still wearing a g-string?"

"I'm going to choke on my ice!" "Don't worry, it should melt before you expire."

[Comments] (2) Museum of Ancient Life: Yesterday we went to the Museum of Ancient Life at Thanksgiving point. I don't care what your philosophy is on how or when or why dinosaurs etc, existed they are still cool to learn about. I hadn't been to the museum in years but it still was fascinating to walk around. Of course my favorite was t-Rex and the giant shark. I still remember years ago when all of my cousins were in town and we pretended to throw Lorna in the shark's mouth, I ducked from the caveman skeleton that was throwing a rock, and Frances posed with the archeologists because we were sure to be related!

[Comments] (14) Precepting: Newsflash... I get to precept this semester in the ER at Ogden Regional Hospital. I am so excited!!!

[Comments] (1) lazy: I have nothing much to report except that I am LAZY. I have always known this, but I realize that I really just pretty much do nothing most of the time. I guess it's becaus I have to be so efficent at work and school, that I can't do it at home. oh well.

Current Projects: -catching up on my scrapbook. Doing ok except I haven't started BB season and I just printed 200 new pics. Yes seriously at least 200. I have an addiction. -Finishing my recipe book. I am frusterated because I can't find my 34th ward RS cookbook and it has recipes I need. Otherwise it is looking awesome. -Cleaning my room. Not doing so well, let's be honest. -Laundry. Hate it, need to desperatly do it. and for the love it's FREE finally, why don't I just do it already!?! -petting the dogs and watching TV....very good at this.

Random thought: I went to the movies (finally saw Indiana Jones) and there was a poster that disturbed me... "No children under 6 allowed in rated-R movies after 6 p.m. Keep your child safe." ummm last time I checked children under 6 shouldn't go to rated-R movies period. Not to mention before 6 anyway...

New favorite quote: "All changes, even the most longed for, have their melancholy; for what we leave behind us is a part of ourselves; we must die to one life before we can enter another." -Anatole France

[Comments] (1) My new job: I love my new job a lot. It is a lot of fun actually. I am working as a nurse at the new Intermountain Medical (aka the Death Star or Mother ship), on the 12th floor. This building is SO tall, and the view is spectacular. I can't wait until I am a registered nurse and get to play with the IV's here, but I can do everything else as an LPN. Yay for the real world...it rocks!!

2008 September
MonTueWedThuFriSatSun
1234567
8910111221314
15161718192021
22232425262728
2930     

0 entries this month.

Random XML
Password:
Michelle
Michelle Walch's weblog

[Comments] (3) School: So I am currently attending UVSC. I have had an ok experience and am ready to move on. Next semester I will be attending Blinn at Bryan, TX. I am very excited because I will be 2 hours away from my house instead of 22 hours!!! I am going to get a degree in early childhood education and am very pleased with my degree. I am currently reading a book that is called A Man's Search for Meaning written by Viktor E. Frankl. If you haven’t read this book, i suggest that you do! It has changed my way of looking at things. Take care Shell

[Comments] (1) School: So I am currently attending UVSC. I have had an ok experience and am ready to move on. Next semester I will be attending Blinn at Bryan, TX. I am very excited because I will be 2 hours away from my house instead of 22 hours!!! I am going to get a degree in early childhood education and am very pleased with my degree. I am currently ready a book that is called A Man's Search for Meaning written by Viktor E. Frankl. If you haven’t read this book, i suggest that you do! It has changed my way of looking at things. Take care Shell

2006 April
MonTueWedThuFriSatSun
     12
3456789
10111213141516
171819203212223
24252627282930

0 entries this month.

Random XML
Password:
Our Family Recipes
New experiments and old favorites

() Cookie Cookie Cookie!: I was going to go to the library after Maggie's nap, but she didn't take a nap, and also it is snowing and really blowy. So, instead I made Chocolate Chip Oatmeal Cookies. Cookies! If you have been blessed with one of mom's family recipe boxes, this is in there.

1 cup, plus 2 tablespoons flour
1 cup quick cooking oatmeal
2 T unsweetened cocoa
3/4 t. baking soda
3/4 cup butter
1/4 cup granulated sugar
1/2 cup packed brown sugar
1 egg
1 t. vanilla
16-ounce package chocolate chips
1/2 c. walnuts, chopped
Mix dry ingredients in a small bowl. Beat together sugars and butter in a large bowl until light and fluffy. Beat in egg and vanilla. Stir in flour mixture until well-blended. Fold in chocolate chips and nuts. Drop batter by teaspoonfuls onto greased cookie sheets. Bake for 10-12 minutes at 350 degrees. Let stand on sheets 3 minutes. Remove cookies to racks to cool.

Susie the Chef says: 16 ounces of chocolate chips is a ridiculous waste of money and chocolate chips. I put 1/4-1/3 that much. I also didn't put nuts. Even though the batter was pretty dry, I felt like the cookies had a lot of butter in them so I might use a few tablespoons less next time. Next time: yes, they were very yummy!

() Yummy in my Tummy: I've been trying out a lot of new crockpot recipes in an attempt to make feeding my family easier, faster, and yummier. Yesterday I put two chicken breasts and half a jar of spaghetti sauce (Ragu was only $1 at Smith's and I had a coupon - I haven't bought spaghetti sauce in years!) and let it cook on both settings for who-knows-how-long. I served it with whole wheat pasta and parmesan cheese and it was yummy. Probably the easiest meal I've ever made!

I also made an eclair cake at John's request. I made chocolate sauce from scratch because I only use it for eclair cake and I am out of money in my grocery budget this month. It was easy and super yummy. I couldn't find mom's recipe, so I 1/3-ed one I found online:

1/3 c. cocoa
1/2 c. water
1/2 c. sugar
Boil for 2-5 minutes.

PS: I uploaded some cute pictures of the bug to our picture blog - click on "Pictures" to the right. And read all my latest articles while you're at it!

() Taco Stack: I was a good wife and made dinner tonight. This isn't the recipe I kept the page for, but it was yummy!

1 lb ground beef
1 medium onion, chopped
1 can diced tomatoes
1 can tomato sauce
1/2 package taco seasoning
12 corn tortillas
shredded cheese

Brown ground beef with onion in skillet; drain fat. Add tomatoes, tomato sauce and taco seasoning. Place 1/4 c. meat in bottom of a 9x13 baking dish. Place two tortillas side by side on meat mixture. Top each tortilla with some meat mixture and shredded cheese. Repeat until each stack contains 6 tortillas layered with meat and cheese. Bake at 350 for 20-25 minutes. Cut each stack into quarters. I served it with sour cream and green onions.

Also, Tasha inspired me to make babyfood so I bought a butternut squash, baked it, and pureed it in the blender with a bit of water. It is delicious! Maggie liked it too. I'm not sure it was any cheaper though. I will have to try some other recipes.

() Apple-Cheddar Soup: I made this earlier today and it is so yummy. I think I put too many potatoes, because it was kind of chunky.

1/2 c. finely chopped onion
1 T. butter
2 med. potatoes, diced
2 c. apple cider
1 t. fresh thyme
1/2 t. salt
dash cayenne pepper
1 med apple, peeled, coarsely chopped
1/2 c. milk
2 T. flour
4 oz (1 cup) shredded cheese
fresh apple slices

Cook onion in butter. Stir in potatoes, cider and seasonings. Boil. Simmer covered 15 minutes. Add apple. Simmer 5 minutes until potatoes are tender. combine milk and flour - stir into soup. Cook and stir until bubbly. Whisk in cheese until melted. Top serving dishes with apple slices and fresh ground pepper.

() Fondue for Two: Last night John and I celebrated our anniversary at The Melting Pot. Maggie got babysat by a couple in the ward with two little boys and had the best time.

We enjoyed our yummy fondue meal, but it was very expensive and now that we've done it I don't think we'll go back. We especially enjoyed the dessert fondue. The waiter told us how to make the cookie and/or graham cracker crumb covered marshmallows (just dip the marshmallows in water), so now we can just do that at home. We were thinking what a fun FHE activity that would be to do with young kids.

2008 February
MonTueWedThuFriSatSun
    123
456728910
11121314151617
18192021222324
2526272829  

0 entries this month.

Links
Leonard's recipies XML
Susanna's recipes XML
Categories Random XML
Password:
Susie's Leaning Tower of Chocolate
Susanna Chadwick's weblog

[No comments] Lost at Disneyland: Two of our kids got lost at Disneyland and, considering their ages and Sienna's propensity to run away, probably not the two you might think.

John and the kids had Fastpasses to Star Tours, so they went to do that while Sienna and I got in line for Buzz Lightyear. But when I turned around, Maggie was with me! I saw John waiting to get into the Fastpass line at Star Tours so I told Maggie "Daddy's getting in the Fastpass line. Hurry! Run!" Apparently, she entered the line and worked her way all the way up to the front while John was waiting to get in. When she got to the front and still hadn't found him, so told the cast member she couldn't find her dad and waited there for him. She got a little teary but she was so brave they gave her a free pass to go on any ride! John made his way up there, quite unconcerned about Maggie since he thought she was with me. And there she was.

We went on Small World Holiday and when we got off, John wanted to take a picture of me and Sienna. Maggie waited for us, but Dalton disappeared on ahead. When we went after him, I found him stickety-stuck, asking a nearby dad for help. Just like he's supposed to!

Sleeping Baby: Sienna will be two in a few days, so she's not really a baby anymore. She's refused to nap the past three days, so she fell asleep nursing at bedtime (6:00) tonight. I took a few extra moments to snuggle my sleepy (heavy) baby girl before I put her in bed. Who knows how many times I'll be able to do that anymore!

Sienna Isn't 2: I have to keep reminding myself that Sienna is still a 1 year old. She's growing up so fast. We have a collection of Disney CDs in our car that has somewhat molded her preferences. She was quite obsessed with Ursula for a while ("Keep singing!"). Then I Just Can't Wait to Be King. She still loves Heigh Ho; she has a set of Snow White and the Seven Dwarves little people toys she she carries around "heigh ho-ing" with. Now it is Jack and Oogie Boogie. Jack this, and Jack that. She goes to a neighbor's house a couple days a week so I can run in peace, and she always insists on watching The Nightmare Before Christmas there. She points out Jack on people's t-shirts. She screams for joy when we ride Haunted Mansion Holiday. Seriously.

New things she's learned to say are: Oogie Boogie, fruitie (applesauce squeezie), Whoosh E Gaga, Nursery (doesn't sound a thing like Nursery, but I'm glad she's asking to go!), Bubbles.

We've decided to leave her in her crib for the time being, though the other two moved out around 2. Also, I thought she'd be the one to start climbing out, but it hasn't happened yet.

2014 November
MonTueWedThuFriSatSun
     12
345627829
101112131415162
171819202122223
24252627282930

4 entries this month.

Links
Traffic
News You Can Bruise
La Vie En Rose
Jabberwocky
Frugal Foreigner
My Articles
My Recipes
Pictures & Crafts
Categories Random XML
Password:
Ruse You Can Bruise
Guests take over Crummy while Leonard is away

[Comments] (1) () The Eagle Has Landed: We made it. I'm writing this now via some neighbor's wireless.

[Comments] (13) () The Right To Bear Fardels: During a recent summit The Poor Man made some nonsensical remark denying that there's any humor in C.S. Lewis or Shakespeare. One of those half-drunk "contrarian = sophisticated" bits of bollocks.

In refutation, I've found my favorite (so far) joke in the Bard: Act III, Scene 2 of Hamlet, the bit about Guildenstern, Hamlet, and the pipe. Gertrude has sent Tweedlecrantz and Guildendee to check on why Hamlet Jr. is acting so crazay. Our goth protagonist asks Guildenstern to try playing a recorder.

GUILDENSTERN
I know no touch of it, my lord.

HAMLET
It is as easy as lying. Govern these ventages with your fingers and thumbs, give it breath with your mouth, and it will discourse most eloquent music. Look you, these are the stops.

GUILDENSTERN
But these cannot I command to any utt'rance of harmony. I have not the skill.

HAMLET
Why, look you now, how unworthy a thing you make of me! You would play upon me; you would seem to know my stops; you would pluck out the heart of my mystery; you would sound me from my lowest note to the top of my compass; and there is much music, excellent voice, in this little organ, yet cannot you make it speak. 'Sblood, do you think I am easier to be play'd upon than a pipe? Call me what instrument you will, though you can fret me, you cannot play upon me.

In the four-hour Kenneth Branagh version this little rant is especially breathtaking.

() Geeks, Fire, and Dangerous Things: Seth and I were at Defcon in Las Vegas this weekend. Seth got our friend Praveen to bring Seth's giant Fresnel lens to the con when Praveen drove out on Saturday. The Fresnel lens is roughly 1 meter in diameter. On Sunday afternoon, as the con was winding down, we took the lens (wrapped in a black sheet for safety) out to a quiet back lot behind the convention hotel and, though the sky was overcast with a thin cloud layer so that we could not focus direct sunlight through the lens, we set some stuff on fire. Seth brought four pairs of welding goggles and two pairs of sunglasses for the group, plus safety gloves for whoever held the lens. It was about 102 degrees out, scorching hot even with the clouds, but before the heat drove me back indoors, I watched Seth and David Weekly burn a brown spot into the side of an aluminum can; turn a piece of wood to charcoal; set aflame and burn through a handful of dry grass; and light an onlooker's cigarette (placed on the ground, not in his mouth!). They also tried unsuccessfully to melt a penny and a quarter. I guess it's not as easy as I thought to burn through your money in Las Vegas.

[Comments] (1) () She's an ENIAC: From phone conversations today I gather that Leonard and Frances are visiting the American Computer Museum. In contrast, I'll be enjoying Will Franken's comedy shows tonight, whose most computer-related joke is probably his absurdist "voice command for file cabinet" bit. You can get a hint of that style in his "Show!" clip.

Note to local comics I saw in the back room of a pizza place last night: it is possible to do good spam and Match.com jokes. Please try harder.

() Mr. Joad's Wild Ride: Today Annalisa and I start our drive out west. On our first trip out, we lost a mirror in the middle of Nebraska at 80 mph, ran over a tumbleweed in Colorado, got our truck towed in LA because it was in 7th Heaven's shot, and almost rented Charles Manson's quaint Topanga getaway... here's hoping for a less exciting trip. Here's also hoping that I will be able to post while I'm on the road. California, here we come!

2005 August
MonTueWedThuFriSatSun
1222345267
891011121314
15161718192021
22232425262728
293031    

0 entries this month.

Random XML
Password:
The Gum Tree
The Weblog of Joe and Louise Walch

Gregg Easterbrook: The Man Who Defused the ‘Population Bomb’ - WSJ.com:

Gregg Easterbrook: The Man Who Defused the ‘Population Bomb’ - WSJ.com

Amazing story. I read about this back at BYU and still am amazed at this man's life and life's work. He wrote some interesting articles debunking neo-Malthusian histeria back in the 1970s and 80s. He's a real hero and an example of human selflessness that is rarely replicated. May he rest in peace.

Interesting quote:

Borlaug told me a decade ago that most Western environmentalists "have never experienced the physical sensation of hunger. They do their lobbying from comfortable office suites in Washington or Brussels. If they lived just one month amid the misery of the developing world, as I have for 50 years, they'd be crying out for tractors and fertilizer and irrigation canals and be outraged that fashionable elitists in wealthy nations were trying to deny them these things."

Epicurean Delights sans the Jail-time:

We tell our kids to "Just Say No" and yet we allow them to dump cup-fulls of this addictive white powder on their Cheerios.

Favorite quote:

Though difficult to estimate, sweet sensations evoked by sugar-sweetened foods and drinks are probably one of the most precocious, frequent and intense sensory pleasures of modern humans.

Have I been missing something?!?

Ideologyweek: News as Only We Wont to See.:

The mocking introduction “Let's try” of Newsweek’s “Our Mutual Joy” foreshadowed all one needed to know about the incredibly condescending treatment of religion by another ‘general interest’ magazine going through its death throes. In an attempt to shame (the true meaning of which, like ‘tolerance’ and ‘love’ has become unfashionably anachronistic) the vast majority of Americans who are Christian, The “living” Bible is deconstructed and vivisected to reveal the Christian’s folly. The article author asserts her moral authority in calling on Christians to strive toward ‘more just’ ideals over the ‘unserious’ drive towards “chaos, depravity, [and] indifference.”

Newsweek would have us believe that the homosexual activity practiced in days of yore condemned by Paul were nothing like the civilized and enlightened homosexual practices of today, and then insinuates that David and Jonathan were gay lovers. Perhaps things have changed; not the enlightenment of gay sex, but the corruption of true brotherly love that Paul commends to his followers.

The article then goes on to explain that the overarching theme of the Bible is acceptance, citing Jesus reaching out to the woman at the well. Nary a word about Jesus’s constant injunction to sin no more, or the real theme of the Bible which is to totally deny oneself in discipleship; not indulge in ‘needy’ relationships. The doctrine of the Bible is that because of the fall everybody has a predisposition to act contrary to our true nature of Justice and Holiness, but that we are to refuse such impulses; not embrace them.

Newsweek argues:

So the frustrating, semantic question remains: should gay people be married in the same, sacramental sense that straight people are? I would argue that they should. If we are all God's children, made in his likeness and image, then to deny access to any sacrament based on sexuality is exactly the same thing as denying it based on skin color—and no serious (or even semiserious) person would argue that.

Perhaps this last bit is what I find to be the most egregious error and beneath contempt. It blasphemously insinuates that God Himself just might be a homosexual and then equats the sexual impulse to skin color or gender. It is similar to the slave-trader’s assertion (to paraphrase Thomas Jefferson) that there are those who are born with saddles on their backs and others born with boots and spurs; except in this case, those born saddled are humanity and the booted master is the animal impulse. It totally rejects humanity’s agency and responsibility, and is totally antithetical to the Bible’s core message. A person who is born black cannot change that fact. A person who is born female or male will always have that identity etched on every cell of the person’s body regardless of the number of surgeries or hormone therapy. Sexuality, on the other hand, is a learned behavior which every civil society in history has regulated and restricted, and to ignore that basic fact of biology and history is not merely unserious, but dangerously stupid.

This shockingly arrogant treatment of the Bible by an author who probably has about as much knowledge of the Bible as an 18th century grammar student (or less) wends its way through blissfully ignorant aphorisms like:

Jesus does not want people to be lonely and sad,

and then quotes such luminaries like “Miss Manners” and “My friend the priest James Martin.” Of course, if one only wants to obstinately promote one’s own viewpoint, then there’s no need to include people who may not be one’s friends or even have the same opinions as oneself. This is evident in the article which never includes any divergent opinion or even the treats the reasoning behind Christian (or classical pagan for that matter) opposition to homosexual marriage as anything but a silly straw-man.

What is the true reason that the majority of people in over three dozen states have voted in free and fair elections to affirm marriage between a man and a woman? It’s not hatred of Gays, OR EVEN HAS ANYTHING TO DO WITH GAYS. It is the fact (one that is lost on the post-modern left) that there are essential differences between men and women. Those differences are profound and reach the whole dynamic range of the human experience. Those differences are etched on every cell in the bodies of Men and Women. To paraphrase Sartre, there is no escape from gender differences between men and women. Men and women are intrinsically, essentially, and absolutely different. Society has an interest in guarding the procreation and sustainability of itself. In so doing, society has every right to ensure that the healthy and diverse influences of both male and female are included in the raising of children. Both genders play essential and important roles in the flourishing and procreation of humanity.

When looked at from this light, homosexual marriage advocates are actually arguing not for inclusion, but for exclusion since it is they who would gloss over the important gender differences that are essential for the raising of properly socialized human beings. Homosexual men simply cannot parent with ‘maternal flair’ no matter how hard they try or how many flower arrangement classes they attend. Furthermore, the homosexual relationship is, by definition, barren. It is wholly impossible for a new human being to be created except from genetic material from one man and one woman. It should be in society’s interest, if society is to persist, to ensure that there is pairing of the right kinds of people (male and female are the only possible option) sustain civilization.

This is why I found Newsweek’s chief editor, John Meacham’s comment so utterly oblivious to reality:

“Religious conservatives will say that the liberal media are once again seeking to impose their “agenda” on a God-fearing nation. Let the letters and e-mails come. History and demographics are on the side of those who favor inclusion over exclusion.”

Excuse me? History and demographics are on the side of those who favor inclusion over exclusion? Has the cavalier John Meacham (of whom I expect better as a historian) seen the fertility rates of San Francisco? Does he know anything about the demographics of the barren Blue Northeast vs. the Red Bible belt south? Quite the contrary to John Meacham’s facile dismissal of the (procreating) majority of Americans, it isn’t gay families who will see the explosion of influence and power in the world. He should look at the statistics: the most common name of babies born in Brussels: Mohammad, Toronto: Mohammad, Amsterdam: Mohammad, Paris: Mohammad, Sweden: Mohammad. What would America look like if it were Muslims instead of the dreaded Catholics controlling the Supreme Court? Does John Meacham really think that the world is demographically moving towards total acceptance of Gay Marriage? Perhaps he should check his statistics and hope it’s the Bible-thumpers or Mormons (who are the only ones approaching Muslims in fertility rates) whom demographics will favor.

And perhaps John Meacham should check on the demographics of Newsweek, which is nose-diving into oblivion.

“Sources say that the magazine is considering slashing up to 1.6 million copies from Newsweek’s current rate base of 2.6 million, which would put the magazine’s rate base at 1 million. Newsweek declined to comment.”

Resources: Natural Law and Homosexual Marriage

A Biblical Understanding of Marriage

National Review: Newsweek Comes out of the Closet

"That Wasn't Quite the Change We Envisioned":

Certainly Obama's recent appointments to his cabinet have been reassuring as I've outlined in my previous post, but some in the Left seem to be getting a little anxious. This story from Politico sheds some light on this subject.

Salient Quote, National Security:

Now Obama’s says that on his first day in office he will begin to “design a plan for a responsible drawdown,” as he told NBC’s “Meet the Press” Sunday. Obama has also filled his national security positions with supporters of the Iraq war: Sen. Hillary Clinton, who voted to authorize force in Iraq, as his secretary of state; and President George W. Bush’s defense secretary, Robert Gates, continuing in the same role

Salient Quote, Economic Policy:

It’s that liberal Democrats say they’re hard-pressed to find one of their own on Obama’s team so far – particularly on the economic side, where people like Tim Geithner and Lawrence Summers are hardly viewed as pro-labor.

Good, Labor bosses have driven many of American Manufacturing jobs into the ground and resulted in poorer quality products.

I'll continue to look skepticaly at Obama, but for a Democrat who ran as Obama did during the campaign; so far so good.

Links
Write to Joe
Send mail to Louise
Joe and Louise's Picture Blog
Joseph D Walch's Facebook profileLouise Nicholson Walch's Facebook profile
2009 September
MonTueWedThuFriSatSun
 123456
78910111213
141521617181920
21222324252627
282930    

0 entries this month.

Categories Random XML
Password:
Spam As Folk Art
Weird and funny subject lines from spam we've received

2014

() Spamusement's Ten-Year Anniversary: Ten years ago today, Steven Frank posted the first Spamusement comic, illustrating real subject lines from spam emails with "poorly drawn cartoons". Leonard and I loved it, and to celebrate, here are a few of my favorites. (Spamusement had an unfortunate strain of sitcom-level sexism and fatphobia but there were plenty of strips free from such annoyances.)

I want to especially mention She cant possibly be enjoying this! which Leonard and I treasure to this day every time we ask for a to-go box for leftovers, and this assortment that I suspect of being a "Cow Tools" homage.

Anyway, Steven Frank, thanks for a fun strip.

() They don't make nonsense like they used to: A single morsel of old-school link-free "what are they even trying to do here" spam slipped through my filter last week, like a Queneau assembly of our glory days here at SAFA. Enjoy, and reflect, for do we not, each of us, parallel existing roads?

From: Mars failing before completing their missions, with some failing before they even began. <brendan@orcon.net.nz>
Subject: Madagascar and take on fresh provisions before proceeding onward toward their targets further north.

David Smith, an analyst at research firm Gartner.
Many steps parallel existing roads, but others exist on their own and are classified as city streets.
Hudswell Clarke saddle tank Tubby at Blunsdon. He died in Monrovia in 1935.

() Male Gaze: Ashley Madison spam keeps telling me I am guaranteed to sleep with a married woman. I am a married woman. I sleep with myself every night, and as such, Ms. Madison has nothing to offer me -- or, conversely, perhaps I have been using the site all along unwittingly!

I find that the Ashley Madison spam specifically bothers me, not just because it implies that I am thought of as a promise-breaker, but because it implies a new vice that I'm not used to seeing in my spam. I'm used to spam insinuating that I am greedy, obese, and libidinous, but not specifically adulterous. And the heteronormative and aimed-at-men "sleep with a married woman" spam actually bothers me less than the more equal-opportunity subject lines that aim to include me. The former I can laugh off as male gaze; the latter thinks I am nudgable.

2013

() Monster Breakout Day:
  • Hey alabaastley, 80% OFF. encountered Neologisms
    I really prefer mangled portmanteaus.
  • Be ready in the morning for my new Gold pick!
    I wish you wouldn't stay up all night playing Minecraft.
  • Augmentin is your canon aimed at any infection.
    No, sir!
  • Scare people with your tool today
    Join your village's angry mob.
  • Mr. kevandd, get super prices. death
    Those prices had better be pretty damn super.
  • Monster Breakout day starting off with Monster News.
    It was just a regular day in Monster Town.
  • Do not underestimate the value of free pills
    I'm going to guess... "zero".
  • This Company keeps climbing! You may want to read this!
    "Employee Guidelines for Parachute Allocation."
  • Feel like you're under a pile of bricks? We carry Xanax and Valium
    Also bricks.
  • This May Never Happen Again!
    Oh, I think it will.

2012

() Mockworthy Recruiting Spam: I feel the urge to complain about a particular kind of spam yet feel a little uncouth doing so on my main blog. So then I remembered: Spam As Folk Art! Hi, three people who still follow this feed.

If you were a tech recruiter seeking a project manager or community wrangler, I could see how I would pop up on your radar. I'm not interested -- I'm happy at the Wikimedia Foundation -- but at least I would understand.

But recruiters who think that I must be an engineer, because I've worked on GNOME and I have a GitHub account, make me laugh.

Case 1:

Subject: Hello from redacted name of big tech company!
From: redacted name native to South Asia
Hi Sumanah,

I hope you're well. I came across your profile in Gnome Outreach program.

I hope you're well. My name is redacted and I am a recruiter here at redacted.

I am writing to introduce myself and was wondering if you would be open to confidentially exploring engineering or management opportunities with redacted.

In the event that you're happily employed, but know of any engineers of your quality who may be on the market, please don't hesitate to pass along my contact information....

First: I will notice if you misspell my name. (And you have nearly no excuse, person with name native to the exact same part of India as mine!) Second: I can think of approximately 500 engineers of my "quality" who are on the job market, because I am not an engineer. Within GNOME I worked on marketing, GNOME Journal, documentation, bug triage, and project management.

Case 2:

Subject: Web Application Engineer
From: redacted name of recruiting firm
<p>Hi Sumana,</p>

<p>Are you interested in a new job opportunity? We checked out some of your git repos and we found a job opportunity that fits your skills. Twitter in San Francisco is hiring web application engineers.</p> ....

Yes, the <p> and </p> tags were in the original. Someone wasn't counting on people who read email in plain text. And my GitHub repo has exactly one item of interest (my update to someone's README file), and within Wikimedia's git repositories I've tested the system by adding some comments to an example extension. If that means that a web application engineer role at Twitter "fits my skills" then I am a tuna fish sandwich.

Bonus case:

Speaking of "wait, plaintext?":

Well hello there, and welcome to the latest Ticket Alternative newsletter!

You've opted to receive the text version which is really boring. You can't see any of the pretty pictures we've added or be wowed by the colorful design.

So, click the link at the top of this email to view the online version and we promise to make you smile....

Thanks for reminding me to unsubscribe from the "newsletter" for a service I only signed up for to buy one measly theater or concert ticket, Ticket Alternative! (Oh, and of course, there was no link to the online newsletter in the plaintext email.)
Wednesday the Ninth of May
() Plaintive: Excerpt from comment spam today:
WHY DO YOU NEED TO FIND HER ASS ? SHE ISNT ANY DIFFERENT FROM EVERY OTHER HUMAN ON THE PLANET. HER ASS IS WHERE EVERONE ELSES IS.
() I pity the spam target with a narrow monitor: But good question, alibaba@service.alibaba.com; I wish I knew the answer.
2014 July
MonTueWedThuFriSatSun
 123456
78910111213
141521617181920
21222324252627
28293031   

0 entries this month.

Random XML
Password:
MC Masala
Sumana Harihareswara's "MC Masala" newspaper columns, reposted
Drinking Problem: We always confused Plaza Lounge and Park Kafe. At least, Leonard did. Then again, he's the one who mixed up the J, K, and M streetcar lines in San Francisco when getting directions. Yes, they share the same terminal stops, but so do we, and that's no excuse for confusing me with Anderson Cooper. We all end in the ocean; we all start in the stream; we're all carried along by [email]@crummy.com. Whoops -- this is the start of the column, not the end. [More]
Filed under: ,
Vitamin Talisman: "Let me tell you about raisins," the professor said, prompting chuckles and heckling in anticipation of a good line. [More]
2011 February
MonTueWedThuFriSatSun
 123456
78910111213
14151617181920
2122232242526227
28      

0 entries this month.

Links
Cogito, Ergo Sumana
An explanation of this project
Categories Random XML
Password:
Sunny 9
Kristen Smith's weblog

[Comments] (5) On death and dying: Nothing prepared me for the day one of my kids asked me why do people die?, so naturally when Lily asked me that question I was dumbstruck. We decided to buy the new Pixar movie Up. It came highly recommended by many people including Louise, who is a very tough critic. She rarely thinks anything is "really good" so I thought it really must be good.

Aaron popped it in for the kids. I was puttering around, getting things done, and still haven't seen it. It wasn't until the next day while Gunnar was napping, and Lily was watching it as I was doing the dishes. When all the sudden I heard this sad little voice and teary eyed girl peeking over the arm of the sofa almost begging me mommy, I don't want you to die. Why did Ellie have to die? When will she be back? I want Ellie to come back. I don't want you to leave. Why do people have to die? Where do people go when they die? I felt ill prepared to answer all these abstract questions in a way a 5 yr old would understand. All I could do was hug her and cry on each other's shoulder. I know it was wrong, but I promised her I wouldn't die, at least anytime soon. She was so sad and I wanted to reassure her and make her feel better.

Death is such a difficult topic and I think it is every child's worst nightmare. We talked about heaven and the resurrection and eternal families and I think we both felt better. It made me remember life is short and fragile and as a result I have not yelled at my kids as much this past week. I used to ask my mom what would you do if I died? And she would always say I would spank your little bottom. Death is something I struggle with and definitely don't want a lesson on it anytime soon. So the moral of the story is if you watch Up with your kids you might have to explain the mysteries of the universe with your kids.

[Comments] (5) for your eyes only: So last week, I tried to write a health care post about my health care of all things. A couple hours after I had posted it, my brain reflected on it and I just about died inside to think I just shared with the world my IUD problems. I quickly got to a computer and deleted it and spent the rest of the night feeling sheepish and wondering if anyone had already read my open book life.

Today, I will give it a go again, yet this time about Gunnar and with much less TMI. Gunnar's health care. My poor little baby Gunnar. I adore this little boy. I could eat him for breakfast, lunch, and dinner, and still snack on him throughout the day. Gunnar is and will always be my baby. This little guy went in for his "6 month" ophthalmologist appt. He was actually a few months overdue for a proper one since the past two were right before the move and right after the move and weren't proper appointments at all. We finally got the full blown appt out of the way and have been given two official diagnoses. First, our suspicions are correct. Gunnar has intermittent exotropia. Basically, one eye wanders when he is tired or not on his A game or zoned out. He can have surgery to correct it, but it really isn't too bad yet and the Dr and I both agreed that it is something to look into when he is older like 6 or 7 when "kids start making fun of his eyes in school" as the Dr put it, since his condition is very mild right now. Kids are so mean! And they probably will make fun of him, so when he is older and if it gets worse we will look into that, but for now he is ok. Just ignore his wandering eyes if you speak with him face to face and he zones out.

Secondly, his nearsightedness is now a raging -6.50 in both eyes. A whole 1.25 higher than last dilation. He's legally blind, but with his glasses he has near perfect vision, and it is very correctable with surgery if he chooses to get lasik when he is older. All in all, it is nothing serious. He is a happy, healthy boy. Sometimes, as his mother, I wished my body had been able to make his body more perfect, but there my vanity goes thinking I am responsible for creating my beautiful children. They are Heavenly Father's children and he is just letting me borrow them to discover tremendous happiness, and just a touch of torture.

But, there it is. Gunnar's health update. He is turning 3 in exactly 2 weeks so I better get onto making his well baby check up. Then we shall see how much this boy has g r o w n!

[Comments] (2) Burr, it's cold in here: This is all quite new to me, the wearing jackets in Oct and not really letting up. In TX the year Gunnar was born, I was so excited to not have to be my largest in the summer. It may have well been summer because as I recall, it did not get cool until the day I left the hospital with him. Geez, thanks!

Oh sure you might need a zip up in the morning, but by 2:00 you were sweating. I literally NEVER EVER wore jeans from the months of May-Oct. For 6 months I wore shorts every day. Even in April and Nov, the jeans were worn intermittently. But for those 6 months I didn't even look at jeans.

Yesterday, to make more room in my closet, and because I have a large Rubbermaid labeled jeans and sweaters that needed to be unpacked (and still one in the garage), I gathered all my shorts that I haven't worn a single time in a month, and all Aaron's shorts and exchanged places in the Rubbermaid with the jeans and sweaters.

It's not that it has been too bad here, gorgeous weather actually, but if I am not dressed properly my toes and hands will be frozen by 4:00 on. In SA I remember wearing flip flops year round. If it was too cold to wear them, that's ok because I knew by the afternoon I would be fine. It goes like this in the winter-mornings and evenings it is cool. Midday is warm. For a week or two we could have a cold front and then it is chilly, but then it goes away and for 3 weeks you are left with "perfect winter weather" picnic weather if you will. And the cycle continues.

Now maybe I am a tad cold because we haven't turned our heater on past 66 degrees. Perhaps. We are trying to save money, electricity is a lot more here, and all I have to do to get comfortable again is vacuum. (Why does that job make you sweat even in the winter? You are just pushing the thing around.) OR my new favorite thing is what Aaron calls my Back To The Future vest. It is AWE--wait for it--SOME. I have it in a couple colors, and it's perfect. It keeps you cozy at the same time freeing your arms to do household chores without feeling constricted like sweat shirts or jackets do. Plus, Old Navy is having 50% off all their outerwear. (Ok, online they are not quite 50%, they are more like 30% off and they have half the color selection so go to the actual store.) Go and get you one, and if you have an Old Navy card like me, you can get it for another 30% off that making it only $14. It's that awesome.

Now I am looking for some rain boots, because every week it rains cold rain here ALL DAY LONG from anywhere between a day to 5 days straight. My feetsies get cold walking around with wet socks and tennis shoes. So if anyone one knows of awesome rain boots for cheap (you know me, it's gotta be a good deal) please let me know.

[Comments] (1) Brisk: During my early morning run today, the sweat from my hands came out on top of my gloves and then turned frosty. I could tell because I was wearing black gloves and it looked like they had been flocked a little bit. Pretty weird--I've never had this happen before. Yeah, it was cold!

There were four in the bed and the little one said: I love lazy Saturday mornings. I awoke to Gunnar's noise and decided I wasn't ready to get up for the day and that I wanted to see if Gunnar was old enough to snuggle in the morning. Lily is at the age where she will lay down for a couple minutes but I didn't know if Gunnar "got it" yet. I went and got him and brought him in the bed. He knows what snuggling is because at night he always asks for me to snuggle just a minute so when I told him that he went for it.

It's seriously one of my favorite things to do is on a Saturday morning when no one has to be anywhere, just to lay in bed and snuggle and play and laugh with the kid(s). Gunnar is the most affectionate little guy. He leaned over to Aaron sleeping and kissed his cheek and said "I love you daddy". He then snuggled into me and said "I love you mommy, you're my big boy". He calls me that because I go between saying "You're my baby" or more lately "You're my big boy" so now he calls me his big boy too. He knows the difference between boys and girls which makes it that much funnier to hear him say it.

Gunnar leaned over and was pointing to my eyes and said "eww, what's that brown stuff?" I had a little smudged eye liner on from the night before that didn't wash off and he goes "that's disgusting." lol little noodge. Lily woke up finally and came in. Then I got to really snuggle-this girl knows how to spoon. It was the complete family, all four of us in the bed spending time together. It was a great way to start off the day.

2009 November
MonTueWedThuFriSatSun
      1
23456728
91011212131415
1617218192021222
23242526272829
30      

0 entries this month.

Random XML
Password:

Unless otherwise noted, all content licensed by Leonard Richardson
under a Creative Commons License.