Blog by Sumana Harihareswara, Changeset founder

08 Jun 2009, 19:23 p.m.

Rhythm Methods

Hi, reader. I wrote this in 2009 and it's now more than five years old. So it may be very out of date; the world, and I, have changed a lot since I wrote it! I'm keeping this up for historical archive purposes, but the me of today may 100% disagree with what I said then. I rarely edit posts after publishing them, but if I do, I usually leave a note in italics to mark the edit and the reason. If this post is particularly offensive or breaches someone's privacy, please contact me.

Seeing the trailer for "Surrogates" put me onto this escalator:

  1. I don't say "philosophical zombie" nearly enough
  2. In the future, a "horse of a different color" will be a "brain in a differently-colored jar"
  3. "Brain in a Jar," to the tune of the Saturday Night Live classic "Dick in a Box":

    One: Twist open a jar
    Two: Put your brain in that jar
    Three: Make her wire up the jar
    And that's the way we do it
  4. You can also sing "Ahmadinejad" to the tune of "Dick in a Box"
  5. Any phrase that scans like "I'm rockin' the suburbs" will also fit "American Woman," and possibly vice-versa
  6. The titles of both Gravity's Rainbow and Mason & Dixon are truncated double dactyls, thus rendering them suitable for either "American Woman" or "Rockin' the Suburbs" filking
  7. Ergo:

    I'm Masoning Dixon
    Just like Thomas Pynchon did
    I'm Masoning Dixon
    Except that he was talented
    Gravity's Rainbow!
    Stay away from mee-eee
    Gravity's Rainbow!
    You're a complex reeee-eeead


08 Jun 2009, 20:28 p.m.

This is awesome! It's like Emily Dickinson poems to the Gilligan's Island theme.

Because I could not stop for Death,<br/>He kindly stopped for me;<br/>The carriage held but just ourselves<br/>And Immortality.<br/> <br/>And Immortality.

08 Jun 2009, 21:14 p.m.

Julia, you know that all Dickinson poems can also be sung to "Yellow Rose of Texas," right? So this means that "Yellow Rose of Texas" and "Gilligan's Island" lyrics and tunes can switch at will.

08 Jun 2009, 22:21 p.m.

Yes, I have heard that. Unfortunately I can never remember what "Yellow Rose of Texas" sounds like, though! However, i do love singing, "House of the Rising Sun" to the Gilligan's Island theme.

09 Jun 2009, 10:07 a.m.

RE: Pynchon off a deliverable

One can also sing "My candle burns at both ends, it will not last the night ...." to the Yellow Rose. And Bon Jovi is passable when sung as Bing Crosby. And NIN as country & western.

Dan P
09 Jun 2009, 13:03 p.m.

Re: philosophical zombies, these two have been open in tabs waiting for the right opportunity:<br/>

11 Jun 2009, 8:48 a.m.

I know neither "Yellow Rose of Texas" nor the Gilligan's Island theme tune, but I do know the latter is said to be interchangeable with the Australian national anthem.