Blog by Sumana Harihareswara, Changeset founder

28 Jan 2003, 22:16 p.m.

Observer and Observed

Hi, reader. I wrote this in 2003 and it's now more than five years old. So it may be very out of date; the world, and I, have changed a lot since I wrote it! I'm keeping this up for historical archive purposes, but the me of today may 100% disagree with what I said then. I rarely edit posts after publishing them, but if I do, I usually leave a note in italics to mark the edit and the reason. If this post is particularly offensive or breaches someone's privacy, please contact me.

I'd ben preparing for this showcase night in spurts for days and days, and then I was frantically memorizing a sequence of bits. And then the emcee discombobulated me by interacting with my companion, who absolutely hates being the target of emcee banter, and I only partially calmed down before going up.

I forgot my bits and put them in later, I switched stuff around, I didn't hear nearly enough laughter to satisfy my inner critic, and I was so nervous. After I sat down, people told me I'd done great, and I couldn't believe they'd iie so barefacedly. I'd sucked!

But I can't watch my own performance as I was doing it, and I sure as rain couldn't quiet the never-satisfied inner critic, especially while nervous. So I will have to start recording my performances, as Joe strongly suggests, to review once the storm has passed.

Oh, and I ran to the restroom gagging after a comedian tonight told a quite gross joke. Whew, you don't expect that going to a comedy show. Maybe I should.

So now I have a much better sense (thank goodness) of the material I'll do for the Apollo finals. Exactly what I needed. Aside from feces jokes.